Jessica Would Have Been A Terrible President

    

    Jessica, from Saved by the Bell, would have been a terrible president. I know that she is supposed to be played as a good candidate, with Zack Morris as the reckless one, but let’s look more closely at the facts.

    Jessica made a multitude of mistakes—firstly, asking Zack to run against her when she was running unopposed! Even if it was a joke, even if she didn’t think he would actually do it, you don’t ask your political rivals to run against you (unless, of course, a new kid comes to the school, rises in the polls, and you run other candidates to split his votes, thus giving you the victory—as seen in SSALTW: The Election). Zack initially declines, but after overhearing that there’s a trip to Washington, D.C., he decides to run for president. Jessica, for some reason, is shocked. She just asked him five minutes earlier!

    Now Zack only makes one real mistake: telling Screech about his plan. Why did he do this? He could have gotten brochures about D.C. without his help, looked up information in the GASP library, or even snuck into school to use their internet connection. However, this pales in comparison to Jessica, who vows to “uphold the school constitution” and ban artificial food in the cafeteria. Yes, in the book SSALTW: The Election, Ethan Shay claims, “Absolutely. I have experience in this arena, and I plan to make this school better for her constituency while upholding the Constitution of Glory Christian.” But Shay’s political acumen is sharper. He doesn’t promise sweeping bans, and he even crushes vice-presidential candidate Molly in an impromptu debate. The point is: Jessica is a terrible politician and the worst candidate in school history.

    The will of the people is not with her. She essentially says she will stick with the status quo and support the administration 100%. Sure, that may sound good in theory, but she’s supposed to represent the students and be a liaison between them and the administration. It gets worse as the show goes on. She even loses in the polls 70–30—polls that began after the campaigns were already in full swing, not at the pre-rally stage.

    She couldn’t even capture her natural base—the nerds and the girls—and had to resort to identity politics, pitting it as “girls vs. boys.” She complains that she didn’t get equal time when Zack aired his campaign ad, but she didn’t even have an ad of her own! Zack is more ambitious, outspoken, and charismatic than her. Even when his plan leaks to the teachers—that he’s only running to go to Washington and has to intentionally lose by vowing to extend the school day and keep the library open 24/7—she still can’t outcompete him. She tries to emulate him but comes off as a cheap imitation, compared to a supposedly “ditzy” girl. She has no identity, no message—she’s just bad at politics.

    Zack has the will of the people. They are with him. Even when one of Jessica’s supporters tries to swing 8 votes by offering theater tickets in exchange, it’s a bad deal—she could stand up half of them, and her supposed popularity would still carry her. She’s portrayed as pretty, popular, and the love interest of Zack Morris, who himself is conniving and charismatic. There’s no way she should fall that far in popularity just because of a few missteps. This isn’t like the Hazel War where SSA’s top four dropped out of the rankings—it’s more like SSA in the Nikka War or CW3, where ingrained popularity, power, and influence remain resilient and extend to other areas (analogous to SSA saving Summer and GCAM-S from collapse). Yet she still loses.

    Despite the negative press, despite Zack intentionally sabotaging his own campaign, she still loses. Why? Because she is a horrible candidate. Upon his victory, Zack confesses that he only ran for power and resigns, played off as “the right thing to do.” But was it? The will of the people was with him, and he could have turned that into leadership. He was committed to showing up on Saturdays and leading his school—if only he could go to D.C. Isn’t this how the real world works? If grades were removed from school, would students care about work? Incentives drive people. Zack had an incentive to win. Honestly, if you lose to some rando off the street with no political experience, you deserve to lose. Jessica was a horrible candidate and would have been a horrible president.